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[10 Mar 2008|01:52am]
[ mood | hungry ]
[ music | metallica - whiskey in the jar ]

cheese sandwiches and ice cream donuts at 2 AM.

gee, i wonder why i gained 15 pounds.

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[10 Mar 2008|01:50am]
[ mood | sleepy ]
[ music | bright eyes - four winds ]

it is not that i do not like smart people. because i really do consider myself to be part of the intelligent crowd. but i do have an issue with people who put themselves on a pedestal above everyone else because they exist on a higher plane of thinking. i do not always agree with my friends, parents, family, etc. on the way the world works and how things should be, but i also do not separate myself as a person from them just because they do not read as much as i do or because they are not as in touch with art. i do not make myself less available to conversation because it has to be some kind of intellectually stimulating material.

i love intelligence, do not get me wrong. but i do not love elitists. people who boast so much and try to act so smart. and most of the time, they are. but intelligence is something to be spread around, not restricted to other intelligent people. what is the point of being intelligent if you are not going to use it to help people or make the world better? sure, you can be unique. sure, you can be a genius. sure, you can be creative. but in what way is that going to make life better for yourself if you are not letting it make things better? i think livejournal is a prime example of that. if you do not have a stylish layout and 150 interests, most of which are authors or funny little quirks, you are somehow not on the level of those who expect it from you.

i just do not get it whatsoever. if you read books, they have to be obscure books that are impossible to find by authors that are semi-recognizable. if you listen to music, it has to be the most possible obscure artist and their music has to be almost impossible to find in your typical music store or p2p program. if you watch movies, they have to either contain subtitles or try so hard to be intelligent, with as many camera tricks incorporated as possible to make the movie seem like it is happening in real time or the script has to be so impossible for the common person to understand that it just makes it hard to watch.

there is a reason i do not use big, complicated words and sentence structure. because i am still a normal person, no matter how intelligent i am. i love being able to convey a message to people without having to use a dictionary to do so. but people do not appreciate that anymore. everything has to be on a higher plane of thinking in order for it to be enjoyable. why? everyone else has to be on a higher plane of thinking for you to talk to them. why? everything is so material anymore than even intelligence has fallen victim to self importance. and it has really become downright ridiculous.

the smart people are too smart to talk to you. the lesser educated are too intimidated to talk to you or they just.. do not read books at all. you would be shocked to see all of the "me? read? yeah, right" comments on myspace and facebook when the "books" section comes up. everyone is too important and smart for each other or too important and too intimidated for each other. it is bullshit. it is ALL bullshit. just once i would like to come across a journal or hell, even a person, outside of my friends circle who does not think they are gods gift to the world. just once i would like to talk to someone that does not think it is a bother to talk to someone who does not listen to the same obscure indie music or read the same over dramatic novels that they do.

intelligence is the most powerful part of the human person. it is just a damn shame that more people use it to make themselves a better person than everyone else rather than making everyone else the same, great person they are.

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[09 Mar 2008|12:42am]
[ mood | cheerful ]
[ music | jeff buckley - hallelujah ]

falling about
you took a left off last laugh lane
you just sounded it out
you're not coming back again.


it actually feels good to have a friend who can make you laugh when you feel like you want to punch yourself in the face. luckily, i have 3.

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eating people? [08 Mar 2008|08:23pm]
[ mood | refreshed ]
[ music | justice - d.a.n.c.e ]

i am actually pretty sure that an entire book questionable content strips, green tea, jace & matt and a Justice CD are the 5 things that i would like to have on a desert island with me.

i am also pretty sure i would eat matt alive. like.. cannibalism. not like dominance.

is that bad?

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[08 Mar 2008|03:44am]
[ mood | calm ]

there's no combination of words
i could put on the back of a postcard,
no song that i could sing
but i can try for your heart,
our dreams, and they are made out of real things,
like a shoebox of photographs,
with sepiatone loving,
love is the answer
at least for most of the questions in my heart,
like why are we here? And where do we go?
and how come it's so hard?
it's not always easy,
and sometimes life can be deceiving,
i'll tell you one thing, its always better when we're together


jack johnson is a man.

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[07 Mar 2008|08:54pm]
[ mood | bored ]
[ music | rhymefest - bullet ]

my hurt, my love, my pain, my stress
my strife, my wife, my life, my test
we made for more, we die for less
when you starvin' in the ghetto i'ma right the rest


today was a bit less than productive.

i wish i did not have such crippling fucking writers block. it would really solve all boredom that cripples me from the hours of 5:30 to almost 2 AM. i always come up with somewhat interesting or compelling things to write about, write down characters or a plot line and completely fucking zone out when it comes to actually writing the material.

even if it is just something like yesterdays post, i like knowing that i have the capability to sit down and write something. even if it is not the most brilliant piece of writing that i have ever penned or i have thought of, i would still like to just have the peace of mind knowing i can write whenever.

not the case tonight though.

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[07 Mar 2008|02:46am]
[ mood | sleepy ]
[ music | jack johnson - better together ]

i think we have a serious disconnect with reality and fantasy in this country. but my main concern is that we do not incorporate fantasy more often in our lives. everyone needs to just sit back and picture a world that really is perfect. where we do not discriminate against those of a different race and we do not see just black or white, but all of the colors in between, as well.

i think we use our minds not enough, but way too much as well. we do not reason. but we do take life too seriously. you can be an intelligent person without being so deeply rooted in realism that you can not even watch a movie without pointing out every single continuity issue or the historical error.

we have become a society of grueling statistical worship and we do not believe in fate. we do not believe in believing without a just cause or reason to believe. we simply cannot exist or we simply cannot have faith without some undertone of personal gain or misguidedness. we have to have a handbook for everything and we have to play 20 questions whenever we give an answer that is not so popular.

we have such a dire need to be analytical and serious that novels, books, music and hell, even news articles have become a bunch of big words scrunched together to show that the writer of said material is extremely well versed or has a vocabulary that would make the oxford dictionary look like a rolling stone magazine. there is no simple text anymore. only 8 letter words put in sentences to make it look more official.

i am not saying that having an expansive vocabulary is a bad thing. it is really a magnificent thing. but to take more pride in being able to use big words is much less admirable than actually understanding when to use those words and the meaning of them. it is all part of a plan that turns us into a society that puts an ultra serious twist on everything.

i am far from a stupid person. i am quite the grammar freak and english freak myself, but i do not go around using giant words to make myself look like a genius when a simple well structured sentence will convey the message ten times easier without making people break out their dictionaries.

i do believe in being realistic about life and everything in it. but i do not believe that we should live in a 95% realistic state and completely tune out the things that make our minds go into overdrive. things that make you aspire for greatness and make you shoot for the moon. a child does not become a fire fighter or an astronaut without seeming like a goofy kid with over the top dreams. a man does not become president without seeming like an overly ambitious public servant. a man does not become a legend without first aspiring that he will, some day, change the world.

without the occasional disconnect from reality, we become exactly what we should all despise. a boring culture with no real ambitions, just a formal, realistic view of life. a view that puts you in the same position each day with a "whatever happens, happens" attitude instead of a "this is what is going to happen" attitude. that is the type of attitude that puts plans in motions and makes life more spectacular.

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[07 Mar 2008|01:10am]
i hate making journals.
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